PSA

OK, so I apologize to my readers reader brother because I haven't updated in a few days, and I feel just awful about it. So I bring you my first original Not a Laura Public Service Announcement:

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that smoking is bad for you. And if you've been living under a rock, you probably haven't had the funds or resources to buy cigarettes in order to smoke - or the necessary oxygen to maintain a flame long enough to light a cigarette (remember that 3rd grade science experiment where you lit a candle and then put a glass over it and the flame went out? exactly). But I digress.
Anyway, if you are a smoker, frequently or occasionally (I'm looking at you, Brian), I'm sure that the traditional "It's baaaad for you" campaigns will do nothing to deter you.  However, I have come across some new, terrifying evidence that might make you quit. Cold turkey. For serious. I'm pretty sure I read it somewhere.

**Off topic, does the term "cold turkey", make anyone picture something along the lines of this:

And then, of course, all I want to do is giggle/give him a sweater...or some fly street wear

Right, now what was I talking about? Oh yes... the most amazing thing that has happened to smoking since 1950 pinup girls.

OK. Ready?

Here it is.

Smokers are 100% more likely to suffer from spontaneous human combustion than nonsmokers.  And since that is, personally, my biggest fear in the whole world (next to being eaten alive by rabid baby chihuahuas), I felt obligated to share this bit of thoroughly researched, FDA approved (probably) information.

Those of you who are unaware of what spontaneous combustion looks like, I found a video of a real live case:

I can only hope that sharing this information helped to save a life today.

And if you continue to smoke, make sure that you walk several paces in front of or behind me, cause I want NONE of that near me.

Things That Make Me Go :/

So certain things in life turn me from this

To this

(This would have worked much better had Flash cooperated properly)


Now these images should make a lot of sense if you take into account the fact that I am a six year old girl.  Moving on....

So here's a list of things that transform me from plain ol' adorable Lara to demon possessed Lara:

1) Getting Flat-Tired

This is annoying as a daily occurrence, but not enough to cause a demon outburst.  Last summer I was working in NYC (and by working I mean interning, and by NYC I mean Times Square). This job required me to spend a significant amount of my time running back and forth in the tourist-laden capital of the universe.  And, being a classy, fancy dresser as you know I am - I tend to wear flip flops in the summer.  Flip flops that get stepped on and kicked off by Midwestern doofuses who are too busy taking pictures of taxi cabs to look where they are walking.

So while this is occurring

(My shoe flying across the sky)

I am forced to step in some unknown Times Square substance...dog excrement? a human spleen? I could think about these things for hours....

And speaking of dog excrement

2) Chihuahuas

OK, now don't get me wrong. I love animals.  I work at an animal shelter, in fact (this one shameless plug, shameless plug). But chihuahuas...these things are evil.  They look so cute and then they try to kill you with their ferocious littleness.  And they're smart about it too.  They pretend to be all sweet and approach you with those big Taco Bell eyes, and then BAM! Decapitated.  I don't know why people give pit bulls such a hard time when it is chihuahuas who have been bred to be murderous gnomes. Or something.  And also - don't walk your evil little dog in Times Square! Damnit. As evil as the scary thing may be, I'd feel really bad if someone stepped on it.

But I digress...

My point is, I've never met a chihuahua who didn't scare the crap out of me.  Except for this one.

3) That Chick

Not anyone in particular, but you all know someone like this.  Now, I know that looking like JarJar Binks is really "in" right now, but I just can't get behind it.  It's just not my thing.  Aside from that, there are several other things about this girl that bug me.  Maybe she went to my high school and is also unemployed/underemployed but seems to always have a boatload of cash (maybe some of us spend too much time stalking ex classmates on facebook, but this is hypothetical).  So what I don't understand is how I'm stuck having no life

keeping my life privately compartmentalized while people like this are all duckface partying pictureposting spending g's and what not.  Like, how is your non job affording you your Zac Posen and your Marc Jacobs and that colorful $1000 yard of fabric labeled "Pucci" that costs you your first born yet barely covers your pucci (aha, see what I did there?).

If you're one of those girls reading this, you're probably saying that I'm just jealous.  Yes. Yes I am.

Tune in next time for more things that make me go :/ as well as things that make me go :) and more random cartoons and doodles!

A New Hero in Town

So this post is inspired by a conversation I had last night with my brother.  Let me just preface this by saying that Brian and I talk to each other 99% online as he lives in a different time zone pursuing his pHD in Physics and I am back with my parents after finishing undergrad (hold your applause, please). So, this was the gist of the conversation that inspired my little cartoon magic:

Lara: ok well im gonna make a shape tween with a morph from an innocent child to a devil monster

brian: i read that wrong

 Lara: ermmm

brian: innocent child demolester

Lara : whats a demolester?

brian: someone who goes around putting pants back on children?

Lara: sounds like some new kind of superhero!

brian: he's highly misunderstood, since it's difficult to judge if pants are going on or coming off at first glance

So there you have it.  And there you have this

Why is he a ginger, you ask? Ummm why do you care, racist?

Why I'm not Laura

My name is not Laura. I feel the need to tell you (whomever you may be) this little tid bit - and add this little piece of importance to the title of my blog - because people don't seem to understand that.  My name is Lara.  It kind of sorta rhymes with Sara(h), it was Superman's mother's name, some chick in a video game with a British accent raids tombs and also goes by that name, it was the name of Dr. Zhivago's love interest....I could go on.  Probably not for much longer though.  I don't have much of a point except that it is annoying to have my name pronounced incorrectly a lot (Thanks Mom and Dad), which reminds me - a lot of things annoy me.  Whiny blogs, for example.  Because no one cares what you have to say.  But you know what's fun? Doodles! Cartoons! Puppets! Stuff that looks like stuff! So if I feel the need to whine about something, I will do it doodle-style.  And if I feel the need not to whine, it will be doodle-style. Welcome to my doodle blog.

Sometimes I feel like this

~Lara